You will need a certified Death Certificate (photocopies are not accepted) for each financial organisation you are going be dealing with so make sure you have asked for enough official copies at Registry Office.
You have 5 days to register a death if a coroner is not involved.
It is sensible to take any official documentation belonging to the deceased such as a birth or marriage certificate, driving licence or passport for the Registrar.
You will also receive a 'Green Form' for the Funeral Director. This is official permission needed for a cremation or burial.
Was there a will?
Was there a Funeral Plan?
Your loved one's final wishes may have been kept in a safe place with other important documents. Poems, readings and music may have been chosen and written down either in a will, a funeral plan or a specially marked envelope - for the day.
Contacting a Funeral Director is daunting if you've never had to do so before but please do not worry too much. Funeral Arrangers are skilled and experienced in alleviating any worries and anxieties you may understandably have and will talk you and your family through every step of the process.
You should feel relieved after you have made the initial contact with a Funeral Director, but if you don't, try another company. Depending on your geography, I can recommend a few. There are some professional and compassionate companies with whom I work. Obviously this depends on your geography but some companies are nationwide.
Some families may have discussed elements of the service together before the death. This kind of family chat doesn't always happen and so choices have to be made by the family on behalf of the person who has passed away.
Your arranger will talk you through the necessities other than the service - do you want a burial or a cremation and where will it be held, choices of coffin, how you want your loved one dressed, do you want them embalmed, vehicles required, charitable donations - etc. All of these matters are sensitively approached.
The Funeral Arranger will help you choose someone to take the service and they will contact them with all of your details. They will ask if you want a religious or non religious service.
Taking someone's funeral is not just a job, it is a vocation, a skilled profession. Make sure the officiant or celebrant recommended to you has at least a few years experience.
An increasing number of ordained Ministers get that not every family wants a traditional, liturgical funeral service. A hymn and a prayer, especially if it is The Lord's Prayer (the most Christian of all prayers), is a religious service by anyone's definition.
Civil Celebrants however will include a hymn these days but not a reading from any faith book (like the Bible) or a religious committal and/or blessing. If you want even a tiny element of religion, like The Lord's Prayer for example, please ask if the Funeral Director knows of a minister of religion who is flexible.
A Humanist will not incorporate any religious content whatsoever.
Some people opt for a family member to lead the service but you may well know of someone personally or that you've seen take a funeral.
If you want a church service then you will have to accept whoever is the current vicar within the Parish, the pastor/minister of a church or the lead cleric within any faith.
The officiant will contact you and either come and see you or arrange for a long telephone call if it is geographically difficult or if you'd prefer a call.
They will help you to think about all of the elements you want for the day and incorporate your loved one's wishes if there were any. Experienced officiants will be able to recommend poems and readings if you cannot think of any yourself.
Experienced Officiants will also have a massive music library in their heads - so just ask them if you're not sure of music.
Today, any genre of music can be included but I think you have to consider the dignity of the occasion.
Funerals are not like they used to be. A great deal has changed in the many years that I have taken funeral services. Of course they can be traditional if that's what suits either the deceased or you as a family - but choices now abound.
When I first started in Funeral Ministry, civil services were taken by experienced registrars and were non-religious. Today, it has become easy to access celebrant training. As a result, more and more people are becoming civil celebrants. Be mindful of this … some are better than others!
Most crematoria have the technology for visual tributes in the form of a photographic slide show accompanied by music, or photo images on a screen, live streaming via webcasts and service recordings - to name just a few resources.
The two largest Media Companies we work alongside are Wesley Media and Obitus. Most Crematoria use one or the other and your arranger will let you know if you wanted to take a look yourself. Their websites are hugely informative and their staff are lovely.
Service booklets have become popular. If you are having a hymn or two, then the service booklet is a good way of printing the words without anyone shuffling about in a hymn book.
Photos are a lovely addition too. The booklet can also inform your congregation of your chosen charity and venue for refreshments if you are holding a reception after the service.
Your Funeral Arranger can help organise the booklet or you can print one off yourself - but make sure you talk it through with the officiant before you print anything.
Everyone has their own way of taking a service through years of experience. A good officiant will let you know how best to arrange your choice of music, hymns and prayers (if you want them), poems and readings.
Please trust them because after years of taking funeral services, most will know what is a great idea before the day and what actually flows comfortably on the day.