Memorial services - a celebration of a life

 We are losing the importance of that goodbye.

Direct cremations may be less expensive, but they leave families and friends without a moment to gather, collectively mourn and say their farewells.

They don’t make room for closure.

Grief needs room. It needs space. It needs community. People need to connect and share in their sorrow.
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 We are losing the importance of that goodbye.

Direct cremations may be less expensive, but they leave families and friends without a moment to gather, collectively mourn and say their farewells.

They don’t make room for closure.

Grief needs room. It needs space. It needs community. People need to connect and share in their sorrow.
Those who opted for a non-attended funeral (which is the reality of what a Direct Cremation is) are contacting me in a state of profound, complicated grief and deep remorse. A short term financial saving has created a long term emotional cost.

Yesterday, I officiated a Memorial service with the ashes of the person who had died as a focal point sitting next to her photograph. It was respectful, dignified and celebratory. Just beautiful and poignant.

This is part of the text I received from the family a few hours after:

“… Thank you so much for today.. it was lovely and you bought light and laughter. x”

This was held in a beautiful function room but any suitable venue like your garden, your home, or at a place meaningful to the person who has died, is perfect.

A Memorial service makes room for collective healing through enjoying memories together … avoiding painful, complicated grief further down the line.

If a direct cremation has left a feeling of profound regret, please know that I can help the all-important healing process. Please contact me so that I can help put together a memorial service allowing for the healing process to start.

As a Grief Worker for many decades, I knew this post-pandemic trend would cause MH issues - eventually. As if the pandemic didn’t take enough from us, its aftershock has made the absence of a funeral with mourners almost normal.

It is anything but.

To allow for a celebration of a life and heal from a bereavement, you have to first mourn a death, collectively. 

Our ancestors would agree.